What Does That Even Mean?!?

What Does That Even Mean?!?

by | Jan 6, 2020 | Tips from Kelly

Do you ever get caught up in the hype of NYE resolutions? I’m going to work out! I’m going to eat healthier! I’m going to climb Mt. Everest! When I hear people say those things, I wonder-what does that even mean?

In the case of mountain climbing-WHY?! It’s cold up there!

Let’s take the “I’m going to work out” goal. Does that mean getting a gym membership and going on a regular basis? Once you get to the gym, do you want to do cardio? Does that mean running, cycling, rowing? Does it mean lifting weights? Does it mean hiring a personal trainer to guide you in those workouts?

Saying you’re going to work out is a broad statement and means something different to everyone.

Maybe you’re someone who thinks NYE resolutions are overrated so I’ll use a different example. Getting directions.

My husband and I decided it was time to update our boys’ playroom. They need desks to work at and shelves to show off their lego creations. I found everything I needed at IKEA online, and chose the click-and-collect option for pickup. I’m not familiar with this particular store and I’d never used the order pickup system before. When I finalized my order, it gave me the following directions.

“The closest parking is on the upper deck of parking garage on south side. Enter through the Returns & Exchanges entrance and turn to your left. Continue to the Order Pick up desk and ask for your order by the order number.”

What does that even mean? Is there a big sign on the outside of the building telling me which entrance I should go in? Is there a loading dock? Do I leave my truck parked near the doors while we walk in to get our items? Will anyone be able to help me lift the boxes in the truck?

So often, the people writing directions have details in their heads they assume everyone knows, and they forget to share them.

That’s exactly what I think of when someone says, “you need to be more situationally aware”.

Great!

What the hell does that mean?!?

Be more aware of what? What am I looking for? How should I act when I’m out in public? How should I act when I’m out with friends? How should I act when I’m with my kids by myself?  Trying to keep your eyes on small children WHILE being aware of your surroundings is a constant balancing act.

Look at the kids, look around, look at the kids, look around…now, what was I doing again? Oh yea, trying to find the next item on my grocery list.

Crap! Where did the kids go?!?

Simply telling women to be more situationally aware is too vague.

That’s where The Diamond Arrow Group steps in. We teach you how your intuition works. How it communicates with you, so you know what to listen for. We teach you the behaviors to watch for, so you know when someone is testing your boundaries.  We talk about using ALL your senses to inform you of your surroundings. We teach simple daily habits to practice, so you are present in your daily life.

Do you prefer to learn by taking online classes?

We have an entire video training series you can take from the comfort of your own home.

Do you prefer taking classes in person?

Our first public class of 2020 is open for registration.

Do you prefer from a presentation on the subject?

We offer hour-long sessions that work great for lunch and learn meetings or networking groups.

Do you prefer one-on-one coaching?

We offer private lessons where we come to you.

We learn about you and start where you are today. We take your natural strengths in to account, and work with you to build self-confidence in your personal safety abilities. We truly believe everyone can learn to be more situationally aware than they were yesterday.

I’m excited to announce something new for 2020. Emergency Action Plan facilitation for private business and public facilities.

Most companies have a large, three-ring binder with what to do in case of a fire, tornado, or flood. When was the last time it was updated? Does it include active shooter incidents or bomb threats? Do all employees know the procedure for accountability in the event of an evacuation? The last thing anyone wants to worry about is where is everyone and are they safe. Yes-there are many templates and tons of information to download from the internet. But what HR Manager has the time to figure out what applies to their specific company?

That where we come in. We will sit down with a business, review the current emergency plan or help create a new one from scratch, and offer suggestions on training or lead trainings for all employees. We provide clear guidance and assistance so companies feel confident in their plan.

The mission of The Diamond Arrow Group is to help people, especially women, gain confidence to live life on their own terms.

How can we help you?

 

“Vagueness leads to assumptions, where no one knows what’s going on.

Being specific opens the door to clarity, which leads to success.”

-Kelly Sayre

Daily Habits

Daily Habits

by | Jun 24, 2019 | Tips from Kelly

Some of the favorite things I teach in my classes are daily habits to build your awareness. You have the ability to be more aware of your surroundings already and it doesn’t require any money, anyone else helping you or any fancy training. Because all you have to do is start practicing.

The A-Game

This is a game you can play in your head, with your friends and even with kids! At an event-say a meeting or going to the park-try and see how many of the following questions you can answer.

  • What is the general mood of the place?
  • What is one thing that sticks out to you?
  • What is the normal activity you would expect to see here?
  • What would cause someone or something to stand out?

At first, you might feel like you are constantly scanning and staring at people, but eventually it will become second nature.

Our friend Andy, over at The Secure Dad podcast, shared a game he plays with his kids when they go out to eat. He calls his game, “Count the doors”. Andy asks them to count the doors in the restaurant. This helps keep them busy, works on their counting skills, and subconsciously helps them realize there are multiple options for getting out of the restaurant.

Master Memorization

A great skillset to build with the A-game is mastering your memorization. After you’ve left an event or place, see how many details you or others can recall.

  • How many people were there?
  • If you interacted with anyone, what was their mood?
  • How did they respond to you?

You can play this game immediately after you’ve left somewhere or at the end of the day. Whenever you have a moment. As you build this skill, you will find it easier and easier to recall details from events that happened not only earlier in the day, but even earlier in the week or month!

One Thing

You’ve probably heard that eyewitness accounts are not always reliable. Two people can be looking at the same thing and come away with very different impressions and memories. That’s why I recommend picking ONE THING to remember about people. What is the first thing you notice about someone when you meet them?

  • Their haircut or style
  • A tattoo
  • A piece of jewelry such as earrings, a bracelet or a watch

Practice noticing that ONE thing with everyone you meet. Even if you’ve known someone your whole life, what is the first thing that stands out to you?

Now-don’t try to do all these exercises at once! You may end up feeling overwhelmed or look like a suspicious person yourself because you’re staring at everyone. Pick one habit to work on every day and soon you won’t even realize you’re consciously practicing it.

The best part? You’ll start being more present in your daily life and your personal relationships will benefit.

 

 “Forget perfect on the first try. In the face of frustration, your best tool is a few deep breaths, and remembering that you can do anything once you’ve practiced two hundred times.”

― Miriam Peskowitz, The Daring Book for Girls

Mental Models

Mental Models

by | Apr 1, 2019 | Tips from Kelly

What’s Your Contingency Plan?

Women tend to run through different scenarios in our heads of how our day is going to go. If something doesn’t go as planned, there are probably any number of contingency plans we already thought of that can get everything back in order.

So, what’s your contingency plan if you see something or someone and your female intuition tells you something’s not right? Do you have a contingency plan in your head that tells you to take action by letting a store manager or security personnel know what you saw? Do you have the words to describe what you saw that made you uneasy? Have you thought about stopping in the middle of whatever you were doing and leaving the area? What if you have your kids with you? What if you’re with friends?

Most women are great at multi-tasking. You can juggle multiple priorities at once and keep everything moving forward. But what would you do if you realized someone was following you? What action steps would you take if you saw someone acting suspiciously?

I love watching hidden camera shows where a scenario is set up in front of unsuspecting strangers to see how they will react. It’s so easy for everyone sitting in the comfort of their own homes to judge the reactions of others in these instances. The viewer at home KNOWS it’s a fake scenario, they know what’s going to happen before the bystanders do and since it’s not them on camera, it’s easy for them to say, “I would’ve done this or that.” Instead, the unsuspecting strangers look around to see if anyone else saw what they saw. They look around to see if anyone else is going to say or do something. Their not sure what to do in that type of situation and it shows in their hesitation to take action.

Two very important lessons can be learned from these candid moments:

1. If you’ve never thought through a situation mentally, your reaction time when it does happen will be greatly delayed-if you react at all!

2. It’s easy to laugh or even make fun of the unsuspecting strangers for their delayed reactions because you KNEW what was going to happen.

As my R.A.D. self-defense instructor partner likes to say, “Your body can’t go where your mind hasn’t”. If you’ve never thought through how you would react in a threatening situation, your body won’t know what to do when it ACTUALLY happens.

Here’s a great exercise for you. Wherever you are right now-imagine you just heard a window break. What would you do? Whether you’re at home, at work or at a coffee shop-where’s your closest exit? If an exit isn’t available, are you able to barricade yourself in a hiding spot? Are there other people you need to take care of, such as small children? If you are by yourself and have no where to hide, what can you use as a weapon to defend yourself? Remember, anything can be used as a weapon. Hot coffee will burn the skin. A heavy handbag can be swung at someone’s head. A picture frame with sharp corners, a heavy frying pan, a high heel shoe, ANYTHING you have quick and easy access to can be used to defend yourself. Don’t forget your fist, knees and legs are always an option.

It might be uncomfortable to think about yourself in a threatening situation but having a mental plan on how you would react and what steps you would take in different scenarios can truly mean the difference between staying safe and being injured or even worse-killed.

Create Mental Models

The next time you read a headline about a woman being attacked, ask yourself-what would you do if you were in that situation? This is NOT victim blaming. You weren’t there so you can’t possibly know what choices the victim had and therefore you cannot pass judgement. This is simply an exercise in creating a mental model of what you would do if you ever found yourself in that situation.

Practice Mental Scenarios Each Week

When your adrenaline kicks in and you start to lose your fine-motor skills, having a mental plan and even better, muscle memory, will help you respond quicker and more efficiently to stay safe. Start practicing these mental scenarios every week and soon you will begin to notice how you pay attention to things differently and how you automatically run through different scenarios in your head on how you would react.

“There is always a part of my mind that is preparing for the worst, and another part of my mind that believes if I prepare enough for it, the worst won’t happen.” -Kay Redfield Jamison