Episode 6

Episode #6: When Your Gut Raises the Alarm

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Learn to avoid dangerous situations, how to assess risks and how to react if danger does arise by yourself or with your loved ones.  In this episode, Doug and Kelly discuss the experience of a mom whose gut raised the alarm in a large parking lot with her child.  

Click here to download Kelly’s Boundaries Workbook. Her comprehensive approach helps you take charge of your own personal safety so that you can better protect yourself in any situation.

Learn to:

  • Identify potential threats 
  • Enact physical awareness 
  • Pay attention to your surroundings 
  • Avoid distractions 
  • Create an escape plan, if needed 

They also touch on:

  • Knowing basic self-defense techniques 
  • Trusting your instincts 
  • Personal safety devices 
  • Tips for building situational awareness

Explore the importance of having real conversations about safety and discover practical methods to ensure that you are living in a secure environment. Tune in to learn expert tips on how to courageously move forward confidently in all aspects of life, no matter your current circumstances.

 

Ready to join the conversation?  

Follow The Diamond Arrow Group on Instagram and Facebook, and Kelly Sayre on LinkedIn and Twitter.

You can find Doug at @texasspydad, or on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Check Kelly’s new book Sharp Women that guides you through embracing your best self-defense weapon – your intuition.    

Please click ‘Follow’ or ‘Subscribe’ on your favorite podcast platform, and we’d love to hear what you think is the best piece of advice you’ve heard on the podcast to-date in a Review on your podcast platform!

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“How the heck is a flashlight going to help you?”

“How the heck is a flashlight going to help you?”

The question came from an older woman in the crowd. She was also laughing and shaking her head when she heckled me from the audience. I had just held up my palm sized, pink, J5 Tactical Flashlight and told the entire room it was my favorite personal safety tool.

Since I absolutely love my tactical flashlight and always carry it with me, I wasn’t fazed. In fact, I welcomed the opportunity to go more in depth on WHY a small, compact flashlight is a great self-defense tool for women.

It Fits in the Palm of My Hand

I can comfortably hold and conceal the flashlight in my hand when I’m walking down the street. I can hold on to it and put my hands in my coat pockets without being obvious that I’m holding it (which draws attention to you and makes you look like YOU have something to hide). Its compact size also fits in my clutch purse on date nights and when I go out with friends. Let’s face it, there’s not a lot of room in those small handbags and I don’t want to go anywhere without a tool for protection.

It’s Heavy Duty

This is not a plastic flashlight. It’s made of aircraft-grade aluminum and is impact and water resistant. I keep it in my handbag and as the mom of two small boys, I have a lot of random stuff being thrown in there.

(Basically-I’m ready for anything. Did you spill lunch on your shirt? I have a Tide pen. Need a band-aide? I have a mini first aid kit. Hungry or thirsty? I have snacks and drinks. Need small, metal cars to keep your kids occupied? Would you like a car or a truck?)

Also-J5 Tactical offers a lifetime guarantee on their flashlights, no questions asked.

It Can Go Everywhere

On a work trip to Washington D.C., a friend and I planned a morning run to the Washington Memorial before the conference started. I brought my Mace Sport Model (it has a strap to secure the spray to your hand) to bring on the run. On the way home, I got stopped by TSA because I forgot to transfer the Mace from my handbag to my checked luggage. The male TSA agent said, “I’m really sorry to have to take this because I think all women should carry Mace, but I can’t let you get on the airplane with it.” You know what he didn’t have to take? The tactical flashlight that was also in my handbag.

I’ve gone to outdoor music festivals on the beach, caught professional baseball games in stadiums, attended rock concerts in large and small venues, and flown to other countries-all with the tactical flashlight in my handbag.

It Uses AA Batteries

At home, I have a bazillion AA batteries because just about every one of my kid’s toys that need batteries, takes that size. Having a self-defense tool I carry every day, use a battery I have on hand, is practical. I don’t need to search endcap displays for an obscure “ABC3241” size battery. If I’m being completely honest, if it required a special battery when it went dead, it would stay dead.

I Don’t Worry About My Kids Getting Ahold of It

If you have young kids, I’m sure they listen and obey all your rules 100% of the time…right?

(It’s a rhetorical question, don’t worry-you don’t have to answer that 😉)

Even though they’ve been told to ask before digging through my handbag, my boys love to find the snacks I mentioned earlier any time they think I’m not paying attention.

I swear we feed them!

I love not worrying about them finding my tactical flashlight and hurting themselves. Yes, they may temporarily blind each other or even themselves, but it’s not anything that won’t go away in the time it takes me to ask “what’d ya learn?”

Which leads me to the next feature I love…

It’s Really Bright

The J5 Tactical flashlight is 300 lumens. It also allows you to choose from a focused or wide beam of light. To get an idea of how bright that is, a small, handheld flashlight is typically 15-100 lumens.  Another great feature of this flashlight is it has three modes- high, low, and strobe. You can temporarily blind someone with the high or low light mode and cause disorientation with the strobe setting. This allows you to further convince a potential attacker “not me, not today”.

Who Else Has a Flashlight at Night?

In my presentations, I talk about the things potential attackers look for when selecting their victims. They watch the way you carry yourself when you walk and if you’re distracted. At night, you probably won’t see them watching you until they step out of the shadows to approach you. If you have your flashlight turned on as you walk down the street or through the parking lot, they’re going to see the beam of light before they see you. Who else has a flashlight at night? Law enforcement and security guards. An attacker is not going to stick around to find out if you’re a cop, they’re going to get away from the light. They don’t want to be seen!

Remember-having situational awareness is about AVOIDING a physical confrontation.

The Beveled Edge Would Leave a Mark

I like to think my cute little pink tactical flashlight is representative of me. It’s not intimidating at first glance but when you notice the beveled edge, you know it could do some damage if a situation called for it.

I hold the flashlight so my thumb rests on the button to turn it on. If I’m walking down the street during the day, the end that the light shines from is actually facing behind me. In order to use it to shine light in someone’s face, I need to bring my arm up by bending my elbow. By doing that motion, it’s in the ready position to throw a hammer punch to an arm, face, collar bone or whatever bony part of an attacker’s body is most readily available (if they’re tall, the bridge of their nose may be out of reach). My goal is to cause the most amount of pain, as quickly as possible on an attacker.

At night, I hold the flashlight the same way because it keeps the beam of the flashlight steady as I’m walking, making it easier to see what’s ahead of me. If a potential attacker steps out of the shadows, the flashlight is on and at eye level. I can use my voice to loudly ask, “Can I help you?”. Based on their response to that question (is it simply someone walking my way or do they have ill-intentions), I can continue on my way or take action to get to safety.

If you want to see examples of moves in action, watch this brief segment on the NY Living morning show.

Oh…and it Helps Me See in the Dark

Let’s not forget that it’s also a functioning flashlight. I like practical tools because I already carry enough stuff in my handbag (see my list above). I can scan my surroundings as I’m walking from point A to point B. When I reach my vehicle, I can scan around it and any vehicles next to mine, to make sure no one else is there.

Anyone Can Carry A Flashlight

Whether you’re just starting to think about carrying something for your personal safety or you’ve been carrying tools for years (Mace, Personal Alarm, Knife, Firearm, etc.), a tactical flashlight is something anyone and everyone should have. Do you have a sister, mom, daughter, niece, cousin, friend you care about? A tactical flashlight makes a great practical gift that they will have and use for years.

In fact, if you want to get one for yourself and one for someone you care about, send me an email and I’ll give you a deal on buying two tactical flashlights. 😊

“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the eye.”

-Helen Keller

Episode 5

Episode #5: Firearms, Mindset, and Pre-event Indicators: Prioritizing Personalized Safety with Robyn Sandoval

Join as we dig into the expertise of Robyn Sandoval, Founder of A Girl & A Gun Women’s Shooting League.
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Join as we dig into the expertise of Robyn Sandoval, Founder of A Girl & A Gun Women’s Shooting League. A Girl & A Gun is a national organization dedicated to empowering women and teaching them valuable self-defense techniques. In this episode, Robyn dives into the many ways in which firearms can be used to defend oneself. She also talks about her experiences as an instructor and the importance of having a go-to script to use in high stress situations, as well as the potential consequences of not being prepared.

Scroll down for this week’s Episode Key.  You’ll find all of the mentioned links, articles, daily habits, and other tips and tricks in there. 

Robyn began A Girl & A Gun to provide women with an opportunity to learn and practice firearm skills in a safe and inviting environment. With over 80 clubs in every state, the organization has become increasingly popular. Women come from all walks of life and all ages, eager to learn and hone their firearm skills.

Other takeaways from this episode:

  • How to develop a go-to plan when it comes to self-defense
  • How to make quick decisions in potentially dangerous situations
  • How to use improvised weapons when you don’t have a gun
  • What types of training programs and courses are available for self-defense 
  • Why having a supportive community can be an invaluable asset in your personal safety
  • Breathing techniques for stressful situations
  • Different skills and techniques that can be used to improve shooting proficiency

Robyn shares her journey of self-discovery and the challenges she faced in becoming a proficient shooter and trainer. She talks about the importance of gun safety, mastering the fundamentals of shooting, and her unique approach to self-defense, which incorporates both physical and mental strategies and training in other self-defense practices, including jujitsu, knife fighting, and improvised weapons to help ensure a better chance of defending oneself in any situation.

Ready to join the conversation?  

Follow The Diamond Arrow Group on Instagram and Facebook, and Kelly Sayre on LinkedIn and Twitter.

You can find Doug at @texasspydad, or on LinkedIn and Twitter.

Check Kelly’s new book Sharp Women that guides you through embracing your best self-defense weapon – your intuition.    

Please click ‘Follow’ or ‘Subscribe’ on your favorite podcast platform, and we’d love to hear what you think is the best piece of advice you’ve heard on the podcast to-date in a Review on your podcast platform!

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Episode 2

Episode #2: Hypocrisy in Society

In this episode, Kelly and Doug unpack the double standards and hypocrisy of the way we treat male victims and survivors, as well as the way we interpret female bad behavior.
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What if your goal were to pick up something a little bit more today than you knew about yourself yesterday, and how to stay safe and take personal responsibility for keeping yourself and your family safe out there?  That’s ever our goal in the Thrive Unafraid podcast, and we’re so very glad you’re joining us today as we discuss:

  • Hypocrisy and inappropriate behaviors
  • Double-standards we’ve learned to ignore
  • The definition of stalking and applying that to uncomfortable situations
  • What is boundary-pushing and how does this harmful phenomenon take place?
  • Identifying, setting, and enforcing your emotional boundaries

Click below to download the hidden gems in this week’s Episode Key!

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about hypocrisy?  How do you feel about double standards?  Whether it’s between men and women, children and adults, racial, class-based, or by any other imposed assumption, it’s high time we as a society become more aware of the double standards we both use and are subjected to in daily life. 

Hear one of Doug Patteson’s own personal stories about an uncomfortable comment that perfectly demonstrates just how different expectations and limitations for men versus women can oftentimes be in our culture today.  Then dive straight into dissecting what the norm should be, from two experts in personal safety and situational awareness with distinct views on the topic.

Then, learn how to identify, set, and enforce your own emotional boundaries, which is a foundational step in the road to learning full situational awareness and keeping yourself and your family safe from harm.

Join us biweekly as we discuss how to avoid the escalation necessitating self-defense classes, training, and techniques, and dive deep into the tactics, tips, and tricks that will help you identify potentially dangerous situations and remove yourself or your loved ones from them before a ‘situation’ ever arises.

Follow us @thediamondarrowgroup and @texasspydad on Instagram for more of our best advice.  We’re also easily found on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter, educating the masses.

Visit thediamondarrowgroup.com for more information on situational awareness training near you (or to request it!), as well as more free resources.

For more examples of situations where you (or another woman in your life) should be using situational awareness or evaluating differently, check out Kelly’s new book Sharp Women and ensure you’re equipped with the tools and skills you need to stay safe at all times. 

 

Absolutely love the podcast and want to say thanks to Doug and Kelly for providing such life-altering advice FOR FREE?  The best thanks you can give is via a quick, short review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or whichever podcast platform you’re currently listening on.  Tell us what you love and what you’re excited to hear more of.  Seriously, it only takes two minutes…

Thanks for being here with us! 

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Episode 1

Episode #1: Dissecting the “Good Guy” Excuse

Welcome to the Thrive Unafraid podcast! In their premier episode,  Kelly and Doug tackle the “good guy” excuse. When is someone’s bad behavior forgivable, and what’s your responsibility when it comes to communicating what you’re not okay with?
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In this episode, Doug and I are discussing the Good Guy Excuse. I came across an article in Harvard Business Review back in August of 2022. The title is, “Stop Protecting Good Guys”, and we’ll link the article in the episode key that you’ll be able to download from the Diamond Arrow group.com website, so you can go check out the article for yourself.

My first reaction when I heard that was, “What? No, we need all the good guys we can get in society!” That was my initial thought. As I read the article, I realized what they were actually trying to say, and some of my initial thoughts were, I had done a post called “the every man”, and I switched it up with what has been said-and I don’t know if it’s an actual quote or not, but every woman you know has either experienced a sexual assault or knows someone who has experienced a sexual assault or almost experienced a sexual assault.

What I had done was I switched it and said, every man you know has committed sexual assault, or knows someone who’s committed sexual assault, or has almost committed sexual assault. And I remember when I created that, that switched up meme, I got the sweats. Thinking about posting that to the Diamond Arrow Group social feeds, because I was like, are people gonna understand? Are people going to…how are they gonna react? Then I had to second guess and say, is that true? And of course, I asked my husband, would this resonate with you? He’s law enforcement, so he is like, you can’t really count me. I know lots of people who have.

But the reaction to it was really interesting and we can get into that later. Good guys are not immune to bad behaviors, so there’s that piece. And I also thought women are not immune to this protective, albeit dismissive excuse either. How about you, Doug? What were some of your initial thoughts?

(laughing) Well, it’s interesting. I hadn’t read it until just recently when you sent it over to me to take a look at, and the first thing that came to mind is, it’s interesting how we use language. You know, to frame discussions, right? Because on one level, everybody wants to be a good guy, but nobody defines what a good guy is. So the language, it matters in this, the article is talking primarily about sexual harassment. Although it gives an example of sexism in the workplace, but the focus is on primarily sexual harassment.

At the end of the day, it’s all about excusing poor behavior under one of a number of guises. I found it interesting. I went and sat down with my daughters to talk through some of this as well and to get their view on it. I wanted to ask them, what’s the counterpart to a good guy? Is it a bad boy? Right? And so what is that language and how do we land there? And what does that mean?

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