How Are You Doing Today?

How Are You Doing Today?

After Sheryl Sandberg’s husband passed away unexpectedly, she co-wrote the book “Option B” with Adam Grant. It’s a real and raw account of the pain of losing a spouse and the aftermath no one likes to talk about. One of the big takeaways I got from it was not to ask friends during difficult times “how are you doing?” because it “comes across as a standard greeting without genuine concern”.  Instead ask, “how are you doing today?” which is more specific and reminds them they don’t have to have the future figured out.

The revised question is now the only version I ask people because I genuinely care and want to know how they’re doing…today. If 2020 has shown us anything, it’s that nothing is certain. I can have the best plans set in place, I can have the prettiest vision board created, and in an instant, everything can change.

Dealing with constant change is exhausting. It’s overwhelming to try and control things that are out of your control. Learning to be flexible is important. Building resiliency is an absolute necessity. Learning to stay present and focused only on the day ahead of you takes practice. But the peace you get from letting go of tomorrow’s unknowns is wonderful. 

You’ve probably heard all of these things before. (I may or may not have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to beautiful quote pictures on these topics.) They are the basic life skills that we strive to understand and master in order to lead full and enriching lives. Self-care is the trend, especially during this time in history. Meditation, mindfulness, and building our confidence to live the life we want. I’ve seen a lot of posts asking people to really think about the things they want to add back in to their lives in the future. So much of our lives was put on hold and so many things we considered “normal” were turned upside down. Before you rush to “go back to normal”, take the time to ask yourself, “what do I really want normal to look like?”

All of those self-care habits and the opportunity to pause and truly decide what you want and don’t want in your life, are the same skills you use in your personal safety.

Living in fear of “what if something happens to me?” is exhausting and overwhelming. You can’t control another person’s actions, but you can control your boundaries and how you enforce them. Putting away distractions and staying present and mindful of your surroundings, is actually relaxing. When your intuition doesn’t have to fight for your attention, you will get the message that something’s not right quicker and be able to react faster.

When you have the opportunity to decide what self-defense tool would work best for you, you realize it doesn’t have to be what everyone else tells you to carry. As women, we either have a handbag full of crap we’re hauling around, or a cute little clutch. Our dress pants (and many other items of clothing) typically don’t have pockets. If they do, they’re small and non-functioning.

But guess what, those cute heels that you like to wear? Those can do some damage to the top of someone’s foot, their eyes, or even their neck if need be.

I like to say, “if all you had were your wits and fists, what could you do?”. You get to decide what works best for you. 

What I care about is helping you start looking at the life skills you’re already using, and applying them to your personal safety. When you start to gain confidence in your skills in one area of life, that confidence will spill over and help you gain confidence in other areas of your life.

Make sure to follow the DAG Instagram and Facebook pages so you can practice staying present in your daily life starting today. (Not a follower yet? Click here for IG and here for FB.)

If you’re reading this blog but you’re not on the DAG email list, get signed up here.

So…

How are you doing today?

Where is your comfort level regarding your own personal safety today? 

How can I help you today?

3 Things To Remember During Self-Isolation

3 Things To Remember During Self-Isolation

Today is day 1 of self-isolation with my two kids. I’ve started using the hashtag “#CQday1” to keep a sense of humor about all of this. Being the wife of a law enforcement officer, my husband is required to continue going to work, as long as he’s feeling well. Which means the likelihood of him coming in contact with the virus is above average. Which means myself and our kiddos could become infected. Which means everyone we come in contact with has an increased chance of becoming infected.

As an extrovert, this is going to be a challenging time. As a person who recognizes that my temporary isolation could protect others from becoming infected, it’s a no-brainer.

My normal work routine will be impacted, so I ask for your patience in trying to get ahold of me. If you need to reach me for any reason, the best way will be to send me an email at kelly@thediamondarrowgroup.com. I’ll respond as soon as I can.

Even though my daily focus will be on taking care of my family, I can’t NOT talk about a few things on my mind with our current state of affairs. Here are 3 things I want to mention in regards to your personal safety and situational awareness during this time.

  1. Watch for any neighbors who may be struggling during this time of social isolation.
    • If you have elderly living in your neighborhood, send them an email, give them a call, or leave a note in their mailbox with your contact info and offer to help get any supplies they need. It may be as simple as adding a gallon of milk to your grocery order. You can always leave their item in front of their door in order to maintain the recommended 6′ social distance.
    • They may need to get refills of their medications. They can call their pharmacy with your name and birthday and give approval for you to pick it up. The pharmacy would simply need to ask for your Driver’s License to verify your identity.
  2. If you need to run errands and get supplies, be aware of anyone in your space.
    • When fear and panic take over, people do crazy things. Keep your eyes up and pay attention to your surroundings as much as possible. Don’t be afraid to put up your hand (like you’re signaling for the person to stop) and say out loud, “Can I help you with something?” if someone is getting too close.
  3. Make it a priority to take care of yourself.
    • If you are now working from home AND have your kids at home AND trying to keep up with the latest updates on Covid19 AND trying to figure out what to make for lunch AND making sure your supplies are sufficient, you could be experiencing an immense level of stress and anxiety. (or is it just me???) Give yourself grace! Everyone is dealing with massive changes to their daily routines. Stay calm, focus on what you can control, try to get fresh air (even if that means standing on your front steps for 5 minutes), and do something you enjoy. Maybe you can finally read that book you’ve been neglecting.

Okay, this email got a lot longer than I intended. Ha! As always, feel free to contact me if you have any questions relating to personal safety during this unique time. If I don’t have the answer, I’ll do my best to find one it you.

Now…I need to figure out what to make for lunch. Ahhhhh!

You Got This,
Kelly